Not just another dude with a bow

(that's why I never miss)


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[posi] listening to you
so_hawkward
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25 Unicorn Street, Friday Afternoon
[posi] covering my smile
so_hawkward
Thanksgiving had been a miraculously smooth affair for Clint and Kitty. At least, Clint thought it was miraculous since going to Kitty's world for a visit didn't always go the way they hoped it would. But, there had been relative peace around the table at Utopia, no one had tried to attack the X-Men, and they'd come home to Fandom with a bunch of leftovers that Clint was currently digging into.

"Sorry buddy, but potatoes aren't for dogs," he said as Lucky circled around his feet. He'd have to give him a treat later to make up for this slight.

[For the wife!]

16 Unicorn Street, Monday Morning
[negi] confused and shirtless
so_hawkward
Like most Monday mornings, Clint woke up to the sound of Lucky and Rook moving around, and began debating with himself about whether or not to get up right away, or wait until they started barking.

Then, the events of the weekend came rushing to his mind, and Clint's first move was to run his hand over his head to make sure his hair wasn't... whatever his 15 year-old self had decided on. He sat up and looked around, hoping Kitty was all right. It had made sense to come back to the house after Tony's party, since no one else seemed to be occupying it. It had also made sense for them to sleep separately which was how, Clint supposed, he'd ended up on the couch.

With a sigh, Clint got up and started getting food ready for the dogs, and coffee ready for himself. Maybe, once Kitty got up and remembered things too, she'd be willing to pretend this weekend hadn't happened.

[For the wife!]

The Blue Recluse Inn, Monday Evening
[posi] almost smirking
so_hawkward
When they were stuck at Candyworld, Clint hadn't really been interested in venturing across the causeway. Now that they were outside an actual city, Clint had figured some investigation would be worth the effort, and he hadn't been disappointed. Yes, he'd spent most of his time in the archery shop, finding out how they made their wares (the arrows in particular were impressive considering the lack of visible technology this place had), but he'd also taken the time to ask around about the most important feature of any city--where to eat.

"The guards said this place had the best food and the nicest clientele," Clint said as he led Kitty into the inn. "We can sit on the second floor and people watch, if you want. It might be quieter."

[For the wifey!]

New York, Friday Evening
[posi] covering my smile
so_hawkward
Clint had never paid a lot to the rules and traditions of getting married, but the one thing his and Kitty's friends had insisted on was that he wasn't supposed to see her from tonight until the actual wedding. Clint thought that was pretty stupid--like his natural bad luck could get any worse?--but he'd let Barney drag him out with Tony, Steve, and Thor (and Natasha, who insisted that someone with a brain needed to keep an eye on them all) while Kitty's friends took her out for something he hoped wouldn't involve male strippers.

At the third bar of the night, Clint managed to get away from the others long enough to hit the speed dial for Kitty's number on his phone. Not seeing her didn't mean not talking to her, right?

[For the omg-soon-to-be wife and anyone else who might want to call!]

25 Unicorn Street, Tuesday
[posi] shirtless oh baby, [posi] shirtless smirking
so_hawkward
Mondays were always awful, but yesterday had been particularly awful because Kitty had to teach and Clint had to check on the gym and all he really wanted to do was stay in bed and enjoy the fact that they had each other during a time when... certain tensions were high.

(At least there was one less awkward thing for Steve to report on the radio?)

Today though, Clint didn't have anywhere important to be, Kitty didn't have to be at Caritas until later, and Clint had planned ahead and locked the bedroom door the night before so the dogs couldn't get in. Once he woke up, he rolled over, wrapping his arms around Kitty, and nuzzled at her neck. "Hey, you weren't planning on going anywhere right away, right?"

[For the lady!]

Il Pollo, Saturday Night
[neut] suited up
so_hawkward
So, Clint had zero interest in celebrating his own birthday. But, he knew that if he and Kitty didn't do something, she'd surprise him with something big and potentially embarrassing. At least a nice dinner meant he got to see Kitty dressed up, and he was reminding himself that he'd been expecting to spend his birthday alone a few months ago, so this was pretty good in comparison.

"If any waiter starts singing, I'm blaming you," he warned Kitty as they sat down.

[For the lady!]

25 Unicorn Street, Saturday Morning
[tiny] sleepy!
so_hawkward
When Clint woke up surrounded by the feeling of nice, warm bed, it took a second for him to remember where he was. Then he smiled and squirmed further under the covers to hold on to the nice feeling for just a little longer. After a few minutes though, his stomach won over his head, and he pushed the covers back to start getting ready to get up and find food.

This was the point where he noticed Kitty in the bed next to him, in her suit, and stared at her for a few moments before softly tapping on the helmet. "Helloooo?"

[For Kitty, but open to calls and visitors!]

Office Hours, Saturday
[neut] fuck you i know how to read
so_hawkward
Clint would much rather be at home drinking beers with Barney than be in his office, but he felt like being responsible enough to do his job today. He had a laptop full of emails to respond to, so it wasn't like he wouldn't be busy.

If anyone asked about Sex Ed though, he wasn't sure what he'd tell them.

A Fancy Italian Restaurant on the Mainland, Tuesday Evening
[neut] suited up
so_hawkward
Well, the impossible had happened. Clint had officially managed to convince Kitty to date him for three solid years. Of course, he'd also convinced her to marry him, but tonight was about their dating anniversary, and he was trying not to think about how this might be the last time they celebrated this anniversary as they sat down at their table.

"Ooh, they've got real candles on the tables. Now I'm glad I wore a tie," he said.

[For the lady! NFB due to distance.]

25 Unicorn Street, Saturday Morning
[lady] wtf wtf wtf?
so_hawkward
By now, the unfamiliar feeling that Clint was feeling as he woke up was... actually kind of familiar. Clearly, he'd been on the island for too long. Still, just to check, he shifted a little in bed, ran his hand down the front of his chest, and groaned.

"Kitty? Fandom's being stupid again," he whined. It was probably a little mean to wake her up, but she could return the favor whenever this crap happened to her next.

[For the sleeping partner!]

25 Unicorn Street, Saturday Morning
[reun] are you sure about that?
so_hawkward
Really, it was the quiet that made Clint wake up.

Normally, Saturday mornings were spent waiting for the inevitable knock at the bedroom door where his children demanded food, or their favorite movie, or for someone to stop pulling his big sister's hair. But this morning was blissfully quiet, and Clint had to process things for a moment when he woke up. Kitty, check. Old house, check. Lack of kids, check.

"Aww, Fandom," he muttered, before curling around Kitty again. Hopefully, she'd be in a good mood once she realized where they'd ended up.

[For the wife!]

25 Unicorn Street, Monday Morning
[neut] fuck you i know how to read
so_hawkward
If Clint needed a sign that Black Cat's bad luck mojo had worn off of him, it was that the first portal he'd taken from New York had brought him right to Fandom last night. He'd tried to sneak into the house without waking Kitty up, but that had been a completely futile effort, and she'd made all sorts of noises when she saw what a walking bruise he looked like. He'd tried "It looks worse than it feels," and "Nothing's broken, it not a big deal," but ultimately "I don't want to talk about it right now," had won, and he'd been able to get some sleep. Not good sleep, but enough sleep that he didn't feel like total crap when the squirrels had shown up to make him do the radio broadcast.

Now Clint was two cups of coffee into the day, and was ready to do something productive. That meant finally tackling the annoying squeaky stair going up to the second floor. Clint wasn't exactly an expert in home repair, but... he needed something to do and he needed it to be useful, and this was useful. If Clint had a therapist, they'd probably have a field day with what he was getting up to.

[Open for calls or visits!]

New York, Sunday Evening
[negi] brooding go away
so_hawkward
One minute, Clint was standing in Jeremy Ellsden's apartment building, watching Deadpool hand him a thumb drive with the background files of every active SHIELD agent.

The next thing Clint knew, he was standing next to Black Cat, who was screaming obscenities and banging on a laptop, while outside the window, Barney ran across a rooftop carrying what looked like the remains of a rocket launcher.

"Hawkeye has only had one indoctrination session. We need to reinforce it."

"There's no time," said Black Cat. "If you don't think he'll be compliant then push him out a window."

Okay, this looks bad.Collapse )

[Adapted from Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #4. TW for violence and one particularly gross death.]

New York, Saturday Night into Sunday Morning
[hawk] never without my quiver
so_hawkward
Deadpool was a little too chipper when he came back to pick up Clint so they could meet up with SHIELD and the FBI. It was probably a good thing that Clint insisted Barney come along, since Black Cat's mojo meant Clint was steadily breaking everything he touched, like chairs and phones and possibly Barney's sanity.

In which Clint tries to make a plan, Deadpool actually saves the day, and then it all goes to hell.Collapse )

[Adapted from Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #2. TW for violence and attempted murder.]

New York, Friday Night into Saturday Morning
[hawk] aimed and ready
so_hawkward
So, when Deadpool said he'd let Clint do all the talking, what he meant was that he'd let Clint talk while knocking out anyone who got in their way.

"You're really a lunatic," Clint said as Deadpool rolled the unconscious coroner into the morgue.

"An effective lunatic!" Deadpool said. "We're inside, aren't we?"

In which Clint tries to solve his problems without violence. Silly Clint.Collapse )

[Adapted from Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #1 and #2. TW for violence, ableist language, and brainwashing. Because Clint.]

New York, Friday Evening
[negi] brooding to the left
so_hawkward
When Kitty went off to deal with the aftermath of her Avengers being attacked, Clint decided this week would be a good time to visit Barney. They'd only gotten into a few fights so far, which was a miracle in itself, and Clint felt a lot better about how the apartment building and his tenants were faring in his absence. The current problem was "solicitors" with thick Russian accents coming by every couple of days, but only one had shown up since Clint had arrived, and he'd quickly turned around at the sight of two Bartons on the stoop. Overall, Clint was feeling pretty good about his promise to Kitty that he'd stay safe on his trip.

*insert maniacal player laughter here*Collapse )

[Adapted from Hawkeye vs. Deadpool #0 and #1. TW for violence and suicide. Let's pretend my scheduled post worked right and this went up last night, yes?]

25 Unicorn Street, Sunday Morning
[neut] arm porn
so_hawkward
Clint was almost always glad to miss out on island craziness, but he was especially happy after listening to the radio today. He couldn't think of anyone he'd lost that he'd actually want to see again, which was probably sad and depressing, but he didn't mind. He was much happier focusing on the people he still had, which today meant stopping to get bagels and coffee on the way back from his morning run.

"Hey, I'm home!" he called out when he got in. Hopefully, the dogs would avoid his sweatiness and he wouldn't have to dodge them with coffee in his hands.

[Open for calls or whatever!]

25 Unicorn Street, Saturday Morning
[posi] shirtless sideways
so_hawkward
Neither Clint nor Kitty had made any big plans for today besides "wake up," "eat food," and "walk the dogs somewhere," so Clint was perfectly happy to not move for a while after he woke up. It was nice to have quiet time curled up with Kitty--at least until there was a banging noise on the door, which sent Rook flying off to investigate. Lucky just picked his head up and sniffed, and Clint groaned, wrapping himself tighter around Kitty. Maybe if she didn't hear anything, he could pretend there was no reason to get out of the bed.

[For the lady and their guest!]

Folly Beach, South Carolina - Wednesday
[posi] covering my smile
so_hawkward
With the island being all gross and weird, and with everything Kitty had been through recently, Clint had jumped at the chance to get out of town, and was using work as an excuse. Specifically, he was checking up on one of the safehouses he had through SHIELD that just so happened to be in a warm state within walking distance of a beach. He'd learned early on that hiding out didn't always have to suck.

There'd been some cobwebs and dust in the place when he and Kitty first arrived, but the electricity and water worked without a hitch, and that was all Clint could ask for. Now, he was relaxing in a chair in the sand, watching Lucky and Rook approach the water while he waited for Kitty to come down from the house. There were definitely worse ways to spend a few days, that was for sure.

[For the ladyfriend!]

Outside and Inside 25 Unicorn Street, Monday Afternoon
[neut] talking with my hands
so_hawkward
Considering how long they'd both been thinking about it, the decision to move Kitty into Clint's place had taken forever. Getting around to actually moving her belongings, on the other hand, hadn't taken that long--although the moving process would probably be taking less time if they'd checked a 10-day forecast before picking the day. Moving things by rickshaw wasn't helping matters much either.

"You don't have anything that's going to get too damaged by snow, right?" Clint asked, looking over the boxes to be brought inside. The weather was annoying, but Clint was looking forward to using it as an excuse for making each other warm later.

[For the new roommate!]

25 Unicorn Street, Friday Evening
[posi] looking down
so_hawkward
So, the great thing about Clint and Kitty's birthdays being so close together was that they could spread the celebration out for multiple days. Clint had finally reached the point of being used to having his birthday celebrated at all, so having extra time with Kitty was like an awesome bonus. Tonight, birthday celebrating meant hanging out on his couch with many boxes of Chinese takeout, while Lucky and Rook hid next to the couch and waited for Clint to have a chopstick malfunction.

"I was thinking, you should definitely stay over tonight," he said, poking at a piece of broccoli to capture it. "It would be cruel of me to send you home in the cold, don't you think?"

[For Kitty!]

25 Unicorn Street, Wednesday
[posi] almost smirking
so_hawkward
While Clint and Kitty had managed to get a tree well before Christmas, they hadn't actually finished decorating said tree. In their defense, they were very busy--well, Kitty was busy, Clint was just lazy--but now that it was close to the holiday, they had set aside time to finish decorating.

"You know, I think we actually did a good job picking this stuff out," Clint said. After a moment, he added, "I probably shouldn't sound surprised about that, should I?"

[For Kitty, or any phone calls!]

25 Unicorn Street, Sunday Morning
[posi] shirtless oh baby, [posi] shirtless smirking
so_hawkward
Typically, Clint got up at a decent hour on Sundays to try to get things done, but that wasn't going to happen today. Today, he was celebrating the end of the ghost weirdness waking up and not moving. He had Kitty in his bed, Lucky and Rook resting somewhere nearby, and there were no less than four bandages on his body. All was right with the world, and there was no reason to change that quickly.

[For Kitty!]

New York City, Friday Afternoon
[posi] covering my smile
so_hawkward
All things considered, Clint had had a pretty good Thanksgiving. There'd been plenty of food at the apartment potluck, he hadn't burned his contribution (green bean casserole with the crunchy onion things on top), and there'd been plenty of leftovers. That meant he had very little guilt about sneaking another piece of pie out of the kitchen while Barney was distracted on his laptop, muttering something about Space Battles, and collapsing onto the couch to see if there was anything good on TV. It was the middle of the day, so probably not, but he could hope anyway.

[For she who is in the city with him!]

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